We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Jerry Collins 5090 2019 Volume 1

by Jerry Collins

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $3 USD  or more

     

1.
Format The Disk It just happened and nothing would work My external drive is being a jerk Tried everything I know for a fix Lost everything unmixed Every sample in my collection I use that external drive for protection All of my pictures are gone Every fix provided was wrong Chorus You need to format the disk in drive E: Before you can use it Goodbye to my entire backup Tried to save it but it's a screw up Years of pictures from my Nikon camera Photoshop software and panorama Family pictures are in the past Should've known this thing wouldn't last YouTube video says it is fixed But it does not work so next Chorus Instrumental Bridge I have done it now it cannot be saved Partition the drive with the software they gave Hopelessly lost and that's just the facts But I don't have to like it
2.
Invaded By Ants Chorus Invaded by ants Crawled up his shoes and into his pants Bit on the foot so he took off his shoes Off comes his pants and income the blues He was weed eating the yard Chopping dead brush The work is very hard Hose down his shoes and started to cuss They hide in the bushes until it gets dark Afraid of stray fireworks that could possibly spark Burn down the house on the Fourth of July He was out in the heat to give it a try Chorus He got ants in his kitchen Crawling around the sink Then came his bitchen But he could not think Look for the raid in the cabinet below It should have been there but wouldn't you know Where the hell is the bug spray? He has to go to the store today, to get raid Bridge Ants in the kitchen ants in the bathroom Little ants inside and big ants outside He says he is going to kill them all, kill them all, kill those little bastards
3.
Carter Had A Nightmare Chorus Carter had a nightmare Woke up very scared Ah Carter don't be sad Jump in bed with mom and dad The bad guys were after him Same bad guys again Nobody was around to help He was alone all by himself Pulled out his toy gun and tried to shoot But the gun jammed and went poop Poor Carter having bad dreams He tried so hard but could not scream Chorus Daddy wasn't there and he could not help Mommy needed help herself Where is all the good guys? But he did not cry He woke up and jumped in the bed Told mom and dad what's going on in his head The bad guys were after me and nobody was there He thought that everybody else was scared Chorus Instrumental Bridge You're alright now son go back to sleep You're protected from those creeps Better now with mom and dad We're sorry for the bad dream you had
4.
Breakfast With My Siblings Chorus Breakfast with my siblings It's a weekly thing Breakfast with my siblings Every Tuesday we hear the phone ring We go down to a locals casino Pretty good food in there It's not a buffet but they do have keno But gambling, I simply don't care Breakfast feast or sometimes an omelet I rarely finish and leave something to spare My sister always leaves a good tip She's a waitress too and she tips better than fare Chorus After we eat it's a little bit of gambling But I don't spend a dime After several years of people money handling None of that money is mine I use to work in a casino too The job didn't pay very well People put up money and then they get screwed You can look at their faces and you can tell Chorus Instrumental Bridge Two weeks ago my sister said were going To the movies and let me know what's showing Yesterday, and I liked it a lot Wasn't quite what I thought I'm not going to spoil it for you
5.
My Number 1 Dream – The Who Chorus Insomnia, hard to fall asleep Finally I passed out for the night Woke up after falling in deep Dreaming a weird insight With my family including my brother My dad was there and so was my mother We went to a concert to see The Who At a nearby casino that everybody knew Pretty sure my parents wouldn't like But they wanted to go that night At the concert digging the sounds Then I got up to walk around I went to my car on the top floor of the garage Everything looked like a picture montage I got in my car and started to move Could still hear the sounds from the concert groove But I slid around a turn and my car was falling Three stories down as my car was stalling There was a young blonde who catered to me I was doing fine and went to find security Bridge I found security and even the governor Showed them my car, as several girls were taking pictures Including the blonde and I finally just kissed her The concert was finishing I know these men The last song they were singing, Won't Get Fooled Again
6.
My Number 2 Dream - Tsunami I was working in a coastal town There were fishing boats all around Was with my wife so close to me A big surprise at what we would see Then one of the islands blew up with lava Just like Krakatoa East of Java In came a wave and everybody ran To get from bottom to higher land Chorus My number 2 dream was about a Tsunami How does this happen in my dream My number 2 dream was about a Tsunami We took off running with a scream In the diner, everybody ran Moving so quickly just as fast as they can Got on their cell phones to make a few calls 911 emergency stalls I watched my car flooded out in the garage My wife grabbed my shoulder to give me a massage Then the other island went boom boom boom We ran into the hotel up to the highest room Chorus Bridge The second Tsunami was bigger than the first Flooded all the way to the top of the church We made it to the top floor, of the hotel, and survived
7.
Backseat Drivers You're going to fast you're going to slow You don't even know where to go Shut your trap and let me drive You're messing me up with all that jive I have to watch out for the other guys I look in the mirror see you roll your eyes I hear every one of your sighs But I'm the one who has to drive Chorus Backseat Drivers Stop telling me how to drive Backseat Drivers We’re going to talk about this when we get inside What is the big hurry You talk so much you make my head blurry We're going to make it we have plenty of time Keep it up and I'll expose you in a rhyme I've been driving for 41 years You keep trying to tell me like I can't even hear I'm quite deaf from that KISS concert But your mouth cuts through and makes my head hurt Chorus Instrumental Bridge I almost got hit by dumb ass driver But I pay attention and had my eye on her You try to blame that on me? I just saved your life, can't you see? Stop telling me how to drive, damn it.
8.
Lunchtime Smoker Chorus Lunchtime not a minute too soon Takes all day to get to afternoon He can jam in three cigarettes Inside thirty minutes with no regrets He needs to go on his break He needs his nicotine for god sakes He hates working because he cannot smoke He smokes those cigarettes and never chokes After two hours, he gets his break Two more cigarettes and he cannot be late Ten more minutes it is time for lunch He needs his nicotine a whole bunch Chorus After lunch, he has to wait two hours Before he can get that nicotine power He is not the only one everybody smokes Non-smokers think these people to be a joke Two more hours and he gets another break Fire up a cigarette and smoke he makes Two more hours and he gets to go home He'll be smoking cigarettes and talking on the phone Chorus Instrumental Bridge He can eat and smoke the same time Smoking cigarettes is always on his mind He is going to die of lung cancer You can tell him that but he still does not care He wants lunchtime to go smoke Lunchtime smoker
9.
My Dog Is Eating Grasshoppers Chorus My Dog is eating grasshoppers We caught her catching with his choppers My Dog is eating grasshoppers We do our best to try to stop her A friend was asking me the other day If the grasshoppers were invading my way I didn't see anything except for ants Remember I told you they were crawling in my pants The next day they finally did come Their all over the place and not just some It is a swarm like locus to feed But I let the dog out to simply go pee Chorus Grossing us out eating those bugs I still love the dog and give her a hug I really don't know what the hell to do What would you do if this was you? A friend just said it but I didn't see a thing Now they swarmed us but they do not sting What's up this year with all these pests? I know all about it and so do the rest Bridge It's really gross to see a dog eat Grasshoppers like it's a doggy treat Oh no yuck, don't do that doggy, that's gross
10.
The Bug Guy 04:31
The Bug Guy He came to the door yesterday He ask me about their service to bug spray He wanted a contract for a year Ants biting my dogs is what I fear We needed it done because of those pests We won't have to deal with it and get some rest Signed the contract and we agreed He came today and we're almost ant free The bug guy came today to spray Says he found the ant hill and it should be ok Any problem and we get a free recheck Don't have the money but what the heck Free for the first check to earn their business Don't want my dogs to get bit so this is it I haven't seen but a couple of ants It still feels like their crawling in my pants Chorus The bug guy, his name is Kason A college student said the don't have money too I looked at his name tag blurry eyes, called him Jason He said that's close enough but my name is Kason, with a K Bridge A day later we're getting our first rain About time as the heat is frying my brain Hope the bug spray still going to work Hope It doesn't wash away, it doesn't wash away The bug spray
11.
Don't Forget To Take The Garbage Out Chorus Don't forget to take the garbage out Today is Wednesday so put the can on the street Don't forget to take the garbage out The garbage man comes early on Thursday each week With all these plastic bottles around Gather everything that can be found You know you got to do it No use in throwing a fit Just gather everything and get it done Sing a little song and make it fun You'll be sorry if you don't Promise yourself that you won't Chorus Remember this song to remind you What you seriously have to do Pick up all the junk inside your room Get your dust pan and get your broom Do it now before you forget Shove it in the can and make it fit Remember he comes early Do it now and you won't have to worry Chorus Instrumental Verse Bridge If you forget then you'll regret Piles of plastic and food that get Smelly and dirty just sitting around If you forget than you'll be bound To live in a pigsty for the rest of the week, with a frown
12.
I'm Tired Of Mopping Floors Chorus I'm tired of mopping floors Just like I did the day before I'm tired of mopping floors One of my daily chores I just woke up and found the spot Doggy pee and it's a lot Haven't even had my coffee Now this one is on me If I don't do it that nobody will I just took my morning pills I'm drinking first and then I'll start I know exactly where she left her mark Chorus Looks like the living room needs a sweep It looked okay before I went to sleep My mind is cloudy and I cannot see But in the kitchen, I spotted the pee I really wanted to let it slide But I cannot deal with pee inside I want to just sit here and think But I better get moving before it stinks Instrumental Chorus Bridge Too early for doing housework I just got my coffee as it finished the perk No use crying over spilled pee pee, just do it
13.
Single and Free Single and free The way he likes it to be Nobody telling him how to behave Let his hair grow if he doesn't want to shave He use to write love songs all the time He tried to write a hit but he never made a dime All those records that he never could sell He has no more love stories that he can tell He is doing fine just being on his own He goes to work and then he goes home Too much attention to his behavior So she ended the deal to do him a favor Chorus He is getting tired of being alone Always on the internet and sometimes on the phone He still rocks out on his guitar But you will never find him playing in a bar All the problems with his relationship hassles He always ended up being the azzo It's a two way street and anyone can cheat He found out about her and then he just freaked Bridge One day a woman was flirting with him He is getting lots of attention even from men But he don't want the hassles of getting involved He wants to be single to avoid a mess He will probably change his mind; it is a good bet
14.
Happy Belated Birthday Happy belated birthday I know it was yesterday Happy belated birthday A day late but I wanted to say Once a year it comes around For everybody every town I just remembered today Yesterday was your birthday Sorry for being late You had your birthday hope it was great Birthday candles on your cake Please excuse my being late, and Chorus
15.
Yard Work Blues I got the yard work blues I got the yard work blues Well, it finally did rain and it's messing with my playing I got the yard work blues today Weed eating the yard Weed eating the yard Well it is so very hard raking up the yard I got the yard work blues today Pickin' up the pine Pickin' up the pine I can feel it in my spine and it's taking all my time I got the yard work blues today Bending over a lot Bending over a lot Well, it's all that I've got and I'd rather not I got the yard work blues today Working in the rain Working in the rain I got doggy pee and poo it's just another thing I have to do I got the yard work blues today I have to sit now and rest I have to sit now and rest Well I try to do my best, I got nothing left Because the yard work blues Because the yard work blues The yard work blues today

credits

released August 31, 2019

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Jerry Collins Henderson, Nevada

contact / help

Contact Jerry Collins

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Jerry Collins, you may also like: