1. |
Format The Disk
05:06
|
|||
Format The Disk
It just happened and nothing would work
My external drive is being a jerk
Tried everything I know for a fix
Lost everything unmixed
Every sample in my collection
I use that external drive for protection
All of my pictures are gone
Every fix provided was wrong
Chorus
You need to format the disk in drive E:
Before you can use it
Goodbye to my entire backup
Tried to save it but it's a screw up
Years of pictures from my Nikon camera
Photoshop software and panorama
Family pictures are in the past
Should've known this thing wouldn't last
YouTube video says it is fixed
But it does not work so next
Chorus
Instrumental
Bridge
I have done it now it cannot be saved
Partition the drive with the software they gave
Hopelessly lost and that's just the facts
But I don't have to like it
|
||||
2. |
Invaded By Ants
04:36
|
|||
Invaded By Ants
Chorus
Invaded by ants
Crawled up his shoes and into his pants
Bit on the foot so he took off his shoes
Off comes his pants and income the blues
He was weed eating the yard
Chopping dead brush
The work is very hard
Hose down his shoes and started to cuss
They hide in the bushes until it gets dark
Afraid of stray fireworks that could possibly spark
Burn down the house on the Fourth of July
He was out in the heat to give it a try
Chorus
He got ants in his kitchen
Crawling around the sink
Then came his bitchen
But he could not think
Look for the raid in the cabinet below
It should have been there but wouldn't you know
Where the hell is the bug spray?
He has to go to the store today, to get raid
Bridge
Ants in the kitchen ants in the bathroom
Little ants inside and big ants outside
He says he is going to kill them all, kill them all, kill those little bastards
|
||||
3. |
Carter Had A Nightmare
04:37
|
|||
Carter Had A Nightmare
Chorus
Carter had a nightmare
Woke up very scared
Ah Carter don't be sad
Jump in bed with mom and dad
The bad guys were after him
Same bad guys again
Nobody was around to help
He was alone all by himself
Pulled out his toy gun and tried to shoot
But the gun jammed and went poop
Poor Carter having bad dreams
He tried so hard but could not scream
Chorus
Daddy wasn't there and he could not help
Mommy needed help herself
Where is all the good guys?
But he did not cry
He woke up and jumped in the bed
Told mom and dad what's going on in his head
The bad guys were after me and nobody was there
He thought that everybody else was scared
Chorus
Instrumental
Bridge
You're alright now son go back to sleep
You're protected from those creeps
Better now with mom and dad
We're sorry for the bad dream you had
|
||||
4. |
||||
Breakfast With My Siblings
Chorus
Breakfast with my siblings
It's a weekly thing
Breakfast with my siblings
Every Tuesday we hear the phone ring
We go down to a locals casino
Pretty good food in there
It's not a buffet but they do have keno
But gambling, I simply don't care
Breakfast feast or sometimes an omelet
I rarely finish and leave something to spare
My sister always leaves a good tip
She's a waitress too and she tips better than fare
Chorus
After we eat it's a little bit of gambling
But I don't spend a dime
After several years of people money handling
None of that money is mine
I use to work in a casino too
The job didn't pay very well
People put up money and then they get screwed
You can look at their faces and you can tell
Chorus
Instrumental
Bridge
Two weeks ago my sister said were going
To the movies and let me know what's showing
Yesterday, and I liked it a lot
Wasn't quite what I thought
I'm not going to spoil it for you
|
||||
5. |
Dream 1 - The Who
04:10
|
|||
My Number 1 Dream – The Who
Chorus
Insomnia, hard to fall asleep
Finally I passed out for the night
Woke up after falling in deep
Dreaming a weird insight
With my family including my brother
My dad was there and so was my mother
We went to a concert to see The Who
At a nearby casino that everybody knew
Pretty sure my parents wouldn't like
But they wanted to go that night
At the concert digging the sounds
Then I got up to walk around
I went to my car on the top floor of the garage
Everything looked like a picture montage
I got in my car and started to move
Could still hear the sounds from the concert groove
But I slid around a turn and my car was falling
Three stories down as my car was stalling
There was a young blonde who catered to me
I was doing fine and went to find security
Bridge
I found security and even the governor
Showed them my car, as several girls were taking pictures
Including the blonde and I finally just kissed her
The concert was finishing I know these men
The last song they were singing, Won't Get Fooled Again
|
||||
6. |
Dream 2 - Tsunami
04:31
|
|||
My Number 2 Dream - Tsunami
I was working in a coastal town
There were fishing boats all around
Was with my wife so close to me
A big surprise at what we would see
Then one of the islands blew up with lava
Just like Krakatoa East of Java
In came a wave and everybody ran
To get from bottom to higher land
Chorus
My number 2 dream was about a Tsunami
How does this happen in my dream
My number 2 dream was about a Tsunami
We took off running with a scream
In the diner, everybody ran
Moving so quickly just as fast as they can
Got on their cell phones to make a few calls
911 emergency stalls
I watched my car flooded out in the garage
My wife grabbed my shoulder to give me a massage
Then the other island went boom boom boom
We ran into the hotel up to the highest room
Chorus
Bridge
The second Tsunami was bigger than the first
Flooded all the way to the top of the church
We made it to the top floor, of the hotel, and survived
|
||||
7. |
Backseat Driver
04:39
|
|||
Backseat Drivers
You're going to fast you're going to slow
You don't even know where to go
Shut your trap and let me drive
You're messing me up with all that jive
I have to watch out for the other guys
I look in the mirror see you roll your eyes
I hear every one of your sighs
But I'm the one who has to drive
Chorus
Backseat Drivers
Stop telling me how to drive
Backseat Drivers
We’re going to talk about this when we get inside
What is the big hurry
You talk so much you make my head blurry
We're going to make it we have plenty of time
Keep it up and I'll expose you in a rhyme
I've been driving for 41 years
You keep trying to tell me like I can't even hear
I'm quite deaf from that KISS concert
But your mouth cuts through and makes my head hurt
Chorus
Instrumental
Bridge
I almost got hit by dumb ass driver
But I pay attention and had my eye on her
You try to blame that on me?
I just saved your life, can't you see?
Stop telling me how to drive, damn it.
|
||||
8. |
Lunchtime Smoker
04:03
|
|||
Lunchtime Smoker
Chorus
Lunchtime not a minute too soon
Takes all day to get to afternoon
He can jam in three cigarettes
Inside thirty minutes with no regrets
He needs to go on his break
He needs his nicotine for god sakes
He hates working because he cannot smoke
He smokes those cigarettes and never chokes
After two hours, he gets his break
Two more cigarettes and he cannot be late
Ten more minutes it is time for lunch
He needs his nicotine a whole bunch
Chorus
After lunch, he has to wait two hours
Before he can get that nicotine power
He is not the only one everybody smokes
Non-smokers think these people to be a joke
Two more hours and he gets another break
Fire up a cigarette and smoke he makes
Two more hours and he gets to go home
He'll be smoking cigarettes and talking on the phone
Chorus
Instrumental
Bridge
He can eat and smoke the same time
Smoking cigarettes is always on his mind
He is going to die of lung cancer
You can tell him that but he still does not care
He wants lunchtime to go smoke
Lunchtime smoker
|
||||
9. |
||||
My Dog Is Eating Grasshoppers
Chorus
My Dog is eating grasshoppers
We caught her catching with his choppers
My Dog is eating grasshoppers
We do our best to try to stop her
A friend was asking me the other day
If the grasshoppers were invading my way
I didn't see anything except for ants
Remember I told you they were crawling in my pants
The next day they finally did come
Their all over the place and not just some
It is a swarm like locus to feed
But I let the dog out to simply go pee
Chorus
Grossing us out eating those bugs
I still love the dog and give her a hug
I really don't know what the hell to do
What would you do if this was you?
A friend just said it but I didn't see a thing
Now they swarmed us but they do not sting
What's up this year with all these pests?
I know all about it and so do the rest
Bridge
It's really gross to see a dog eat
Grasshoppers like it's a doggy treat
Oh no yuck, don't do that doggy, that's gross
|
||||
10. |
The Bug Guy
04:31
|
|||
The Bug Guy
He came to the door yesterday
He ask me about their service to bug spray
He wanted a contract for a year
Ants biting my dogs is what I fear
We needed it done because of those pests
We won't have to deal with it and get some rest
Signed the contract and we agreed
He came today and we're almost ant free
The bug guy came today to spray
Says he found the ant hill and it should be ok
Any problem and we get a free recheck
Don't have the money but what the heck
Free for the first check to earn their business
Don't want my dogs to get bit so this is it
I haven't seen but a couple of ants
It still feels like their crawling in my pants
Chorus
The bug guy, his name is Kason
A college student said the don't have money too
I looked at his name tag blurry eyes, called him Jason
He said that's close enough but my name is Kason, with a K
Bridge
A day later we're getting our first rain
About time as the heat is frying my brain
Hope the bug spray still going to work
Hope It doesn't wash away, it doesn't wash away
The bug spray
|
||||
11. |
||||
Don't Forget To Take The Garbage Out
Chorus
Don't forget to take the garbage out
Today is Wednesday so put the can on the street
Don't forget to take the garbage out
The garbage man comes early on Thursday each week
With all these plastic bottles around
Gather everything that can be found
You know you got to do it
No use in throwing a fit
Just gather everything and get it done
Sing a little song and make it fun
You'll be sorry if you don't
Promise yourself that you won't
Chorus
Remember this song to remind you
What you seriously have to do
Pick up all the junk inside your room
Get your dust pan and get your broom
Do it now before you forget
Shove it in the can and make it fit
Remember he comes early
Do it now and you won't have to worry
Chorus
Instrumental Verse
Bridge
If you forget then you'll regret
Piles of plastic and food that get
Smelly and dirty just sitting around
If you forget than you'll be bound
To live in a pigsty for the rest of the week, with a frown
|
||||
12. |
||||
I'm Tired Of Mopping Floors
Chorus
I'm tired of mopping floors
Just like I did the day before
I'm tired of mopping floors
One of my daily chores
I just woke up and found the spot
Doggy pee and it's a lot
Haven't even had my coffee
Now this one is on me
If I don't do it that nobody will
I just took my morning pills
I'm drinking first and then I'll start
I know exactly where she left her mark
Chorus
Looks like the living room needs a sweep
It looked okay before I went to sleep
My mind is cloudy and I cannot see
But in the kitchen, I spotted the pee
I really wanted to let it slide
But I cannot deal with pee inside
I want to just sit here and think
But I better get moving before it stinks
Instrumental
Chorus
Bridge
Too early for doing housework
I just got my coffee as it finished the perk
No use crying over spilled pee pee, just do it
|
||||
13. |
Single and Free
04:28
|
|||
Single and Free
Single and free
The way he likes it to be
Nobody telling him how to behave
Let his hair grow if he doesn't want to shave
He use to write love songs all the time
He tried to write a hit but he never made a dime
All those records that he never could sell
He has no more love stories that he can tell
He is doing fine just being on his own
He goes to work and then he goes home
Too much attention to his behavior
So she ended the deal to do him a favor
Chorus
He is getting tired of being alone
Always on the internet and sometimes on the phone
He still rocks out on his guitar
But you will never find him playing in a bar
All the problems with his relationship hassles
He always ended up being the azzo
It's a two way street and anyone can cheat
He found out about her and then he just freaked
Bridge
One day a woman was flirting with him
He is getting lots of attention even from men
But he don't want the hassles of getting involved
He wants to be single to avoid a mess
He will probably change his mind; it is a good bet
|
||||
14. |
Happy Belated Birthday
03:27
|
|||
Happy Belated Birthday
Happy belated birthday
I know it was yesterday
Happy belated birthday
A day late but I wanted to say
Once a year it comes around
For everybody every town
I just remembered today
Yesterday was your birthday
Sorry for being late
You had your birthday hope it was great
Birthday candles on your cake
Please excuse my being late, and
Chorus
|
||||
15. |
The Yard Work Blues
06:24
|
|||
Yard Work Blues
I got the yard work blues
I got the yard work blues
Well, it finally did rain and it's messing with my playing
I got the yard work blues today
Weed eating the yard
Weed eating the yard
Well it is so very hard raking up the yard
I got the yard work blues today
Pickin' up the pine
Pickin' up the pine
I can feel it in my spine and it's taking all my time
I got the yard work blues today
Bending over a lot
Bending over a lot
Well, it's all that I've got and I'd rather not
I got the yard work blues today
Working in the rain
Working in the rain
I got doggy pee and poo it's just another thing I have to do
I got the yard work blues today
I have to sit now and rest
I have to sit now and rest
Well I try to do my best, I got nothing left
Because the yard work blues
Because the yard work blues
The yard work blues today
|
Streaming and Download help
If you like Jerry Collins, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp